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David's Funnies
One liners
Q: Why do tampons have strings?
A: So men can floss their teeth.
Q. What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A. Once they're on their back they're fucked!
Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What is the difference between the Taxman and your wife?
A. If you cheat on the Taxman he will still wanna fuck you.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a microwave ?
A. You can't brown your meat in a microwave!
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a job?
A. After 20 years, the job STILL sucks
Did you here about the Irish farmer's daughter that thought that one under
par was incest?
Q: Why do women have pussies?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of panty hose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, a beaver, an ass, 2 eels, and a fish you
can never find.
Q. Did you hear about the film about a woman cutting off a mans penis?
A. It's called FREE WILLY.
Q. What is the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a vacuum
cleaner?
A. Only the position of the dirt bag.
Q. What did the carrot say to the vibrator?
A. What are you worried about ? She's going to cat me
Q. What do condoms and Kodak have in common?
A. They both capture that magic moment.
Bloke asks his wife what she wants for her birthday.
She says, "A Divorce."
He says, "OH!,I wasn't thinking of spending that much"
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